Never Once

Today didn't go very well. I couldn't find it in myself to pray this morning because my stomach was upset, the words were too hard to form in my mouth. I read my bible though. I woke up in a quiet mood and quite usually means slightly irritable. I burned my face with my straightener, adding to the bajillion things that were ALREADY wrong with my face. People weren't particularly my favorite, conversing with them usual only forced my mood to fall. A girl in my class told me I was an idiot (according to her I always am) even if it was a joke, I'm tired of hearing how my personality is an inconvenience to her. The girl i sat next to in my 2nd period seemed pretty annoyed with my dumb questions. Again, I was an idiot. I spent 10 minutes of my lunch just trying to heat up my darn noodles. In History I started to get insecure and frustrated. I looked like crap. I had no friends. I am going to totally bomb this dumb map test. Failure. Failure. Failure. I really wanted God to intervene, he was @ the back of my mind. I obeyed him throughout the day, feeling convicted to pick up that piece of paper some lazy person left, pass out invite cards to random people in the hall, smile to those I needed to smile at. Although I was obedient, my heart wasn't happy and my spirit felt suffocated. On the bus ride home I listened to my worship music and closed my eyes, once again feeling like no one loved me. No one cared. Blah, blah, blah. Seriously, Trisha? Cry about it. You always do anyways. I was in a rush to get to my house and in my bed so I could sleep this crappy day off when the song that was playing suddenly blasted at full force. "Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did you leave us on your own. You are faithful, God you are faithful." Instantly my heart felt free and the Holy Spirit was there. It hit me that if he hasn't left me yet, he never will. There have been days definitely harder then this. It's okay to have a low day, but it's not okay to wallow in it. It's okay to not be as bright and happy as usual, but that doesn't mean something is wrong with me. God has got my back, and he's always got a way of reminding me.
"By saying you're not beautiful is like telling God he didn't do a good job."