Fear

Fear of any type is real, but it isn't something that God has instilled into us. I have three basic fears; demons, losing someone and loneliness. Lately I have been kind of focusing on those last two fears. The fear of losing someone is now becoming a very real thing. I think this fear has been instilled in me based on the times in the past that I have had to leave some of my best friends and not wanting that to happen again. God has placed in my life a group of friends that have been absolutely amazing and a huge life saver, I love them and am truly happy around them. Though this is all true, one of them is moving to a different state very soon, and another one wants to leave the state very soon. Many of them are seniors, they're graduating this year and then they're going to go out to some University. I just found these people, people that make me really happy and who make me feel loved, and they're all just going to leave on me? The thought of it all brings me to tears. My other group of "best" friends is also slowly withering.
The passed two days I have been really struggling with loneliness. I'm so used to being out with people and always having somewhere to run off to that when I'm faced with a week of almost no plans, I'm left feeling lonely. In these times it's when I really wish I had that best friend I've been praying for. I believe the reason that I am struggling so much is because I do know that I am going to have to let go of my old "best" friend and it breaks my heart. For such a long time I've been pretending that everything is alright, that things will work out, that this is where I was supposed to be; God finally had to slap me in the face with reality to finally get me to make some changes. These changes are hard, and it's hard for me to not be bitter.
"Even if we part, the only thing that matters to me is the memories we made were made in love." That's what I put as my Facebook status last night. I was hanging up some of my favorite pictures with some of my favorite memories on it and it just slapped me in the face; every single one of those memories were made in love. I'm never going to regret those friendships (though they hurt me) because they were real relationships that were there to help me learn and grow.
Never regret something or someone that made you truly happy.