Unknown

Isn't it funny how terrified we all are of the future? Even if it's a good thing? I find myself being afraid of a new best friend. I'm afraid of getting a best friend who treats me right, who doesn't lie, who is actually Christian, who has decent morals, who understands me; I'm afraid of getting a new, true best friend. Why am I afraid? I'm afraid  because I don't want to lose the "best" friends I have now. Even if they lie, take advantage of me, ditch me, and talk bad about me. I don't want to admit to myself that maybe those people aren't the best people to have in my life. I've invested in these friends so much that it hurts for me to think of someone replacing them, I don't want them to feel as if I ditched them; I definitely deserve someone better though. I deserve someone who I can confide my secrets into, someone that I don't have to worry about breaking my heart every other week, someone who loves me the same way that I love them. Someone who values our relationship the way that I do. So, I have found myself praying more and more frequently for a new best friend. I was talking to my friend a couple days back and she was telling me about her past best friends, I see her now with her current best friend and I never see her worrying about her old ones. She told me she prayed for this person and God gave her someone worth calling a best friend. Why in the world should I be afraid of the unknown when I know that whatever is going to be given to me in the future is through God? He will protect me and guide me and make me happy. One day all of this heart break will be worth it, all this heart break is going to be for some amazing and wonderful best friend who will never make me regret these choices I'm making for no one but myself. I'm tired of feeling alone and empty.